there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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