oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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