If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
