is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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