Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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