I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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