I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
