thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize