Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
