I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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