I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
