we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
