I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
