mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
