Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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