Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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