I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
