I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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