now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
