HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
