Just cropdusted the office
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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