i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
