so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
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hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
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My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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