I'm jealous of your bromance
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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