Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize