I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
