Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
