You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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