They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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