ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We have so much sex to catch up on
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
