I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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