My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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