He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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