then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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