I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
