I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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