i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
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