That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize