u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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