Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
did you just send me my own nude
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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