How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
