I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
operation have a gay friend backfired
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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