I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
