Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
