I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
