my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
it's like iHOP with fire
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
