i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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