it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
