Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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