We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
