You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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