you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
