So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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