You're a womanizer and a bitch.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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