I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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