I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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