It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
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She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
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I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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