I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
