No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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