Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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