oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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